Sarah Chavarria walked into a meeting with her board of directors, sat down and said: “We need to talk about menopause.”
Never mind that the board was almost all older men at that 2023 meeting, one of her first in her new role as CEO and president of Delta Dental Insurance Company.
They all fell silent.
She told them that the vast majority of women over 50 didn’t know that their dry mouth and sensitive teeth were due to menopause. Fewer than 2% of them had ever discussed menopause with their dentist.
And at her most recent appointment? Her own dentist was reluctant to talk to her about it.
“The board got through their first five minutes of being surprised and ‘Are we really talking about this?’ and then something amazing happened,” she says. “They had science and information about menopause to connect with their wives and daughters in new ways.”
Chavarria doesn’t shy away from sharing her own menopause stories – whether with her board or her 5,000 employees.
“You can’t ignore it when half of the population is going to go through menopause,” she says.
Even with more women 55 and older in the workforce than ever before, women often are afraid to talk about menopause in the office. They fear disclosing brain fog will make them appear less competent, that talking with younger or male coworkers who may not understand menopause will lead to discrimination.
While employer support is still low, fewer than 5% offer meaningful programs, more companies are adding improved coverage for hormone therapy, paid time off and even regulating the office thermostat. This summer Rhode Island became the first state to mandate that companies offer accommodations menopause symptoms.
With 1 in 10 women leaving the workforce because of menopause, according to the Society for Human Resource Management, and another 1 in 5 considering retiring early, researchers say it’s become the menopause penalty. It can lead to fewer women leaders at a time when they make up fewer than one-third of the spots.
Chavarria, who introduced Delta Dental’s first menopause report three years ago, says policies such as remote work can help. But what’s most important is that women see a health care provider, that practitioners from dentists to primary care doctors know how to help, and that the treatment is covered.
“Sharing my own story can encourage others to talk about menopause at work, to get help or see their doctor,” she says. “But first we need to be OK talking about it.”
Menopause care is lacking, leading to delays in care experts say
Dr. Stephanie Faubion of the Menopause Society says medical schools need better menopause training to prevent misdiagnosis and improve patient care.
When quitting feels like the only option
For Khris Rogers, the symptoms that consumed her during perimenopause stole her ability to keep her job.
Her periods became so heavy that her 90-minute commute as an office manager in Southern California became impossible without a break. She had joint pain and frozen shoulder, hot flashes that interrupted her sleep. Her patience felt shorter.
“Everything just became harder,” Rogers, 52, says. “I had to be realistic. I just couldn’t deal with it.”
Menopause and perimenopause can result in more than 103 symptoms ranging from fatigue to severe tooth decay and brain fog that leave women missing more days of work, diminished productivity and reduced earning potential. They often suffer for years before diagnosis or treatment.
Rogers was in the middle of a divorce. Her two children were grown. It took several frustrating medical appointments before she finally found a provider online for hormone therapy.
“There was a day when I just wasn’t coming in. And I thought, I’m not coming back,” she says.
She moved in with her mother and started a cat sitting and coaching business.
Now she has three employees and sets her own schedule giving her the flexibility to better manage her symptoms.
“I can go home during the day and take a nap if I need to,” she says. “I should have done this years ago.”
Don’t call it menopause, just call it aging
Jennifer Gibbs is a lawyer in a firm with more than 100 attorneys in Texas.
For the first time, two of the three executive committee members are women over 40. She is lucky, she says, that experience is valued in insurance litigation. “You often want the gray-haired attorney in the room who has seen it all before,” she says.
Still, at 53, she skips using the word menopause at work.
“Because we give it this name for women there is this stigma. But it’s just aging,” Gibbs says. “I still have these conversations, but I don’t use the word menopause. It can turn some people off. It’s not being disingenuous, it’s a reframe.”
She says men don’t fear talking about aging at work, noting that there seems to be a season for rotator cuff surgery and then heart issues. She wants women to feel just as comfortable.
“Don’t call it meno-brain. It’s just age,” she says. “You are still as bright and intelligent as you were at any point in your life. For the same reason I don’t like to say pregnancy brain. You don’t want to discount anyone.”
The menopause penalty
Stanford economist Petra Persson found that women over 50 see the menopause penalty, similar to the motherhood tax.
“It was startling. Women who have menopausal symptoms take a substantial hit,” she says, with the study showing women’s earnings can go down 10% at a time when they are nearing retirement.
Persson said researchers found one bright spot in the study: Women who had more knowledge about menopause, access to care and treatment faced a reduced economic loss.
“Ultimately that’s a hopeful message,” she says, adding that her next study will look at what government and company policies are successful for this group.
Turning down the thermostat and remote work
Andrea Donsky, a nutritionist and cofounder of Morphus, a menopause supplement and vitamin company, says companies need to do more. Her recent survey shows that nearly 80% of women in perimenopause and menopause say their symptoms negatively affect them at work.
“Many women don’t feel comfortable talking about it at work with their bosses, so they often keep how they’re feeling to themselves and don’t share what’s actually happening to them,” she says.
Her current research looks at what programs or policies could help at work.
Chavarria finds that visiting offices and not being afraid to share her own story is one of the best ways to learn what her employees need.
One morning, after a particularly bad menopause migraine that Advil and Dramamine couldn’t lessen, she wasn’t ready for a big meeting.
“I just told the team I needed to go lie down for a moment. I was honest about what menopause was doing,” she says. “It doesn’t mean I’m not competent. I think it makes me a better leader to say what was going on. Never underestimate the opportunity and power as an older woman to make things OK for the women who are coming up.”
Employees tell Chavarria how they’re doing, if the office thermostat is set at the right temperature, what they’ve heard from their own doctor. She trades tips with women about which supplements they take or even the best portable fan. She swears by the Jisulife Ultra2.
Menopause is natural. And now more employees are finding that talking about it at work can be, too.
Laura Trujillo is a national columnist focusing on health and wellness. She is the author of “Stepping Back from the Ledge: A Daughter’s Search for Truth and Renewal,” and can be reached at [email protected].
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